2014-08-11 A First Time – If It Had Been Planned, Which It Hadn’t

Title: A First Time – If It Had Been Planned, Which It Hadn’t – A Gift in honour of LJ’s Akatnamedeaster’s birthday
Pairing:Severus/Sirius
Rating: So NC-17 it’s blushing
Length: 1,233
Warning: Explicit sexual content, fingering, oral, hand jobs, angst, total denial of attraction. I don’t write slash very often and it shows. Read for content! Un-beta’d because Jules is on holiday and I wanted to knock this out on Kat’s birthday. I do not own these characters and make no money blah blah blah
Summary: It probably shouldn’t be this way, not that Severus has ever given it any thought one way or another which he most certainly has not…

---

If it was to have happened at all; it should have been just a fuck. Severus could have imagined (which he most emphatically never did) it would be like a dogfight – circling one’s opponent, looking for weakness and vulnerability to exploit, spitting in hate, pulling at cocks worn smoother by their own hands with vindictive pleasure. He might have thought (but he didn’t, hedidn’t) he’d be taken from behind, or be asked to take from behind, like a bitch being fucked by a hound. A crude as Black, as coarse as himself.

It should have been orchestrated that way, had Severus had any desire to orchestrate such a thing. It should not have been a snarling remark, a hasty push against a wall at Grimmauld Place after a particularly tedious Order meeting, a rude threat, a sudden lunge at one another. It was nothing more than glorified masturbation. That was all it was─all it could be, between him and Black.

He almost hated the way Sirius looked down at him, eyes naked of their insolence and Pureblood supremacy, large and drugged with Severus’ touch. He almost hated himself for putting that look in the cur’s eyes. He wasn’t queer! He wasn’t a poofter! He didn’t want to want this large, warm hand squeezing his cock with the frantic excitement of wanting, actually wanting Severus’ pleasure. He didn’t want to want it, but he could not push that hand away, no more than he could remove his own hand from Sirius’ velvety, bone-hard prick.

He searched those naked blue eyes for anything other than helpless, defenseless need, and found nothing. He had always wanted the power to tell Sirius Black to go to hell. He had that power now, pulsing hot and alive in his hand, and he knew, he knew he would hate himself for easing up, for turning his angry, stroking rhythm to a caress that drifted around Sirius’ balls, turning languid and gentle. It stunned him the way Sirius’ eyes slid closed, how his sigh of lust tightened his own balls. If he had ever imagined this might happen (no, he did not) he would have never imagined that look of absolute surrender on Sirius Black’s once-handsome face.

Sirius fell to his knees, and caressed Severus’ dick between his hands like a holy thing. He sucked him, sucked him like he was a god to be worshipped and Sirius his truest, most faithful acolyte. Later, Severus told himself he should have pounded between those sneering lips, flattened the hateful tongue that had called him names, had tormented him. He should have fucked that smirking, mocking mouth, should have choked him with his contempt – he should have pulled away, and sprayed his cum over Sirius’ face to show him what he thought of his charity. He should have!

But Sirius whimpered then; Severus would remember that whimper for many lonely nights to come, with only alcohol and his right hand for company. That whimper broke the fever of retribution; Severus could do nothing but ease his aching, desperate cock in and out of that sweet, warm sucking mouth, prolonging the pleasure, holding off the ecstasy for as long as he could. Looking down at the expression of pure, unembellished bliss on the handsome face he was currently fucking, Severus could not bring himself to hurt Sirius, to punish him for the awful things they had done to one another in the past.

This was an apology of sorts, a sensual gift, and Severus would take it as such─tonight. A gentle, insistent finger probed his anus, and breached him, sliding in deep and unerringly toward its goal; Severus should have told him to stop, but he could not, not with that molten pleasure erupting like lava in his groin. Instead he threaded his fingers through Sirius’ long black hair and reluctantly pulled the generous, skilled mouth from his cock.

Sirius looked up at him as if he had forgotten this was a sworn enemy. “No,” he whispered, and tried to latch himself back on to Severus’ cock, like a needy baby pursing his lips for the tit.

Severus grasped the back of Sirius’ head with one hand and his cock with the other. “Lick them,” he moaned, and Sirius’ tongue rolled over his balls with delicious, lavish strokes, and in that moment, Severus had a terrible thought of commanding Black to change into a dog, just to feel that large rough tongue lolling over his cock and balls. He shook the image away.

“Touch yourself,” Severus ground out. “Touch yourself and come.”

Sirius obeyed him instantly, pulling at his prick with all the finesse of a boy. “Fuck my mouth,” Sirius rasped, “Please.” He gazed up at Severus like his next breath depended on the glistening cock inches from his touch.

“Gladly,” Severus breathed. He guided his cock past Sirius’ parted lips, groaning at the melting pleasure of feeling the head tickle the back of Black’s throat. Sirius whined around his cock, and began truly sucking him off, like a whore, like a man starving to pleasure him─like a lover.

Severus felt the power tip the balance then, and he fucked the hot mouth, fucked the anger and the humiliation and the sorrow away with abandon. Sirius sucked him off, relentlessly, his spit running down from his overstretched mouth, trickling down Severus’ balls. Severus buried Sirius’ nose in his pubes, the snuffling, sucking sounds in counterpoint to the frenetic slaps as Sirius fucked his fist. His hand became a blur of furious strokes; he came in a series of muffled moans that vibrated down Severus’ dick, igniting a path of electricity from his balls to his stretched rectum.

With a hoarse cry, Severus followed, his orgasm blindingly intense. He forced Sirius to hold him deeply in his throat. Sirius gagged, pulled back and swallowed a gulp of Severus-free air, then plunged his mouth back onto Severus’ cock, sucking his balls dry.

Sirius’ fingers slipped from his arse, and Severus sagged against the wall, sliding down until he was facing the man he’d once sworn to kill. Sirius’ mouth was a red, swollen, wet mess, his eyes blank and logy. In that moment, he was beautiful in the way Severus had heard others talk about him, but had never been able to see. He was messy, all tousled hair and soiled robes and smeared spunk. He met Severus’ eyes with a tired, bewildered look, and Severus knew his own expression probably mirrored it. His cock, still tingling and sensitive, still wanted the cur; still wanted his mouth and his arse and his shallow, coarse brain. Perhaps, Severus mused, it still wanted to take and be taken from behind, like a bitch by a hound.

“Come here,” he commanded, and without hesitation Black all but crawled into his arms, nuzzling against Severus’ neck, tenderly stroking his spent cock, his damp balls. Severus eased his middle finger into Sirius’ mouth, and it was accepted it with a moan of rapturous submission. As his tongue swirled around Severus’ finger, Severus almost swooned. He pulled his hand away before he did something equally foolish.

“Kiss me,” he said, and Sirius’ eyes grew wide. He leaned forward, and obediently kissed Severus’ lips. His kiss was tentative, a little fearful.

Good, Severus thought, as he slid his tongue into Black’s wet mouth. Shows you still remember who I am.

It would not do for either of them to forget that.